In Dreams of You

I had a dream about you last night. I dreamt that you got offered a job in America, and that you booked your flight. I remember searching online for a job there, or perhaps a flight. Then you told me that another girl had known about it, for some time, but “obviously” before me. Her name was Judith.

I woke in another man’s bed, with that dull ache in my heart that has been there for a long time. The one that tells me you will never be mine. One day soon maybe it will fade into nothingness, or at least, I hope.

I guess a general analysis of this dream shows that I am still focussing on those things that I have been denied; my dream of getting a job in the States, and of course of us being together. The name Jodie is derived from the name Judith, which I guess indicates my fear that you will find someone who is a more “whole” version of me. I am no expert on dreams, so any expert knowledge would be welcomed.

I write this not to make you feel bad, but to be honest. I need this blog to be an honest account of how I feel about life. There are things I can’t write here, that I will never write here. But the rest, should not be kept inside.

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