A Room of One’s Own

So after three long weeks of homelessness verging on despair, I have been saved from making a decision about either leaving London or abandoning my cat. Which is good, because I didn’t fancy either one really.

On Saturday I moved into a flat in Twickenham, home of the sport with the funny-shaped balls. A friend was moving out, and I took the opportunity to move in. It all happened pretty immediately, saving me from any more nights in a hostel bunk bed.

The relief I felt at having a room of my own when I slept there for the first time on Saturday night was immense. It is one thing travelling the world, not knowing where you will sleep from one night to the next, but when you are trying to hold together a normal life, with a 9-5 job, living out of a suitcase is not easy.

The last three weeks have taught me that life will not always give you what you want without a fight, and that when it does, you better be damn grateful.

I met a friend yesterday afternoon, and he was asking me what the future holds for me now. I burst into tears.

While this is not uncommon behaviour for me, it highlighted the fact that while I had come to the conclusion last week that I didn’t want to leave London if at all possible, I really hadn’t been able to think past finding somewhere to live. That is what the future hinged on – I could not stay if I couldn’t find anywhere to live. Now I have that, it’s time to put a future plan into place.

Right now I’m on a train heading North to Lincoln. I’m going to visit friends and family, before retrieving my stuff from storage and collecting The Bish at the end of the week. I’ll use the weekend to sort my new room out, then next week it is time to focus. I don’t want to waste this chance I’ve been given. If I want to make a go of it here then I need to write write write, as well as getting organised with my finances and dejunking properly. Writing so I can pave my future. Saving so I can pay my future. Dejunking, so that my future is clear of physical and emotional baggage. It feels good to have a future. It was always there, but it has been clouded the last few weeks. While I still can’t see what is round the corner, I can at least feel able to walk the path, knowing that I feel brave enough to face whatever lies beyond.

Republica – Ready to Go (1996)


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. SomeKernelsOfTruth
    Jun 30, 2014 @ 19:20:51

    Beautiful post. I especially loved this: “It feels good to have a future. It was always there, but it has been clouded the last few weeks.” True, and perfectly said. Congratulations on this development and the new beginnings you’re embarking on!


    • 33andlostinlife
      Jun 30, 2014 @ 19:23:55

      Thank you. One silver lining from the last few weeks has been my new followers like yourself, who added to my current followers, make me happy to know people are coming along for the journey 🙂


  2. lorena
    Jul 07, 2014 @ 16:49:41

    Warmed my heart to hear a happier J in this post. Supporting you all the way xx


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