Truth and Consequences

My name is Jodie and here is my truth: in less than a week I will be homeless.

You may think that I should be panicking right now, but I am actually surprisingly calm. You see, this is my consequence: I have wanted to move out, and now I have my wish. I cannot complain about the situation I find myself in because it is the situation I put myself in.

While I have looked at several places, I need somewhere for myself and The Bish, somewhere with a cat flap so that he can come and go as he pleases. It has become even more apparent, in the nice weather we’ve had (at times) over the last month or so, that he loves his time in the garden, and I hate having to bring him inside in the morning before I leave for work. Usually my housemate will let him in and out when she’s around during the day, but I wouldn’t want to leave him out all day if we’re not around. For one, the neighbourhood bully, Felix, comes around quite often shit-stirring, although Bish now knows exactly what to say to give Felix the two-finger salute, which sees Felix sauntering off with his tail between his legs. The other reason, well, Bish will sit at the door and miaow and miaow and miaow and miaow and I like to think I’m a little more courteous to my neighbours (and my cat) than that.

So while it’s important for me to find a place which is right for me, I need the right place for him too. Almost fourteen years later, and we are still together. He is my longest relationship with a male with the exception of my dad and brother. He’s my responsibility and I want to help him the way he has helped me over the years.

Another reason for my so far not having anywhere to live, is my change in budget. I currently pay £900 a month for rent and bills (not including my mobile phone bill). Even in London, that is a lot of money. For me, who doesn’t earn one of the great London salaries, that is a lot. When I first started looking, I set my budget at £650 a month max, hoping to find somewhere cheaper. I saw a couple of places at that price which weren’t suitable. I was then contacted about a place which is £400 a month.

I interrupt this blog to bring you news of a Felix Ambush. Luckily, Bish chased him from the garden. Felix is now sat in next door’s garden. Bish is standing guard.

Anyway, as I was saying, the £400 a month room gave me a lot to think about. While at £650 I will be saving £250 a month on what I’m paying now, £400 would allow me an extra £500 a month. As someone who has drowned in debt before and is nearly always living to the end of my overdraft, I realised what financial freedom that could bring me. Money to go back up North to visit my family more often. Money to socialise. Money to buy those Converse I’ve been hoping for for the last few years since my last beloved pair went into the great rubbish bin in the sky. At the end of the day, you need to live somewhere you can be happy. Paying £900 a month in somewhere that I am not happy is a killer. I figure I’d rather pay a lot less then at least I have money to go out and live my life rather than being stuck in a home you hate.

So, I’ve been holding out for the £400 place, but the landlord has been working away and keeping me waiting. Thus I find myself with less than a week to go before I will be out on the street.

The truth: I need to stop holding out for what I see as the perfect option. As I’ve discovered many many times with men, if you wait and wait you will wait and wait forever. Sometimes you just have to admit that it is not going to work out how you thought. The consequence: Begrudgingly, I am forced to admit that I’ll need to pay more for my room than I was hoping, and while it will give me less to live on, I’ll still have more than I would if I was staying in this flat.

I spoke in one of my recent blogs about having faith. Not religious faith, just faith that things will work out. The truth: I still have that faith. But faith alone will not keep you warm and dry. The consequence: time to find somewhere to live.

I am going to take some inspiration from The Bish, who provided me with a great photo opportunity earlier this morning. We are sat in the garden, the warm sun on our faces. I am finishing this blog before I start looking for rooms. Bish is sleeping after his encounter with Felix, knowing that while I am here, Felix won’t be back. As Bish showed me earlier, no matter what is going on around you, look for the sunshine and try to relax.

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