Oops I Did It Again…

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, I’m a great believer in Fate, and Fate’s accomplice, Signs. You know those little things that happen that you read far too much into? That guy you like’s third cousin twice removed was once butler to your great-grandfather’s uncle’s shoe-shine customer. Or more commonly, you both like Chinese food the best, you have both travelled to some random town in Cornwall, you both love 80s pop. As well as those random signs, I believe that if I wake up with a song in my head, then that song is trying to tell me something.

So today’s song…Marry Me, by Bruno Mars.

Having woken up with someone else inside my head, I now can’t get rid of that song either.

I have been told time and time again not to fall so quickly. But I can’t help it.

I think I’ve watched far too many rom-coms resulting in this desire to find Mr. Right. Like many women, we have it drilled into us by Hollywood that you can find him in a wide variety of ways. When I was growing up, I learnt you could find Mr. Right by hearing his voice on the radio (Sleepless in Seattle), having his brother fall into a coma (While You Were Sleeping), being a hooker (Pretty Woman). While When Harry Met Sally proved that you can be friends with someone for years before realising that you want to spend the rest of your life living and having sex with them, more modern examples prove that a fuckbuddy can become the love of your life (No Strings Attached, Friends with Benefits). And a few months ago I finally got round to watching John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale in Serendipity. Serendipity being (dictionary definition coming up) “fortuitous happenstance” or
“pleasant surprise” (thanks Wiki). To prove this whole signs thing, Wiki goes on to tell me how the person who coined the phrase was Horace Walpole in 1754. Walpole Park, Ealing. Where I used to walk my ex-housemate’s dog and go jogging. Weird, huh? Anyway, how on earth is a single girl *not* to anticipate that the love of her life could be around the next corner, when we are told that fireworks could happen any time, any place?

I think I spend so much time being single that I need to have somebody to focus on. When I was a teenager, my mind was occupied with a teenage crush, but aside from that many a pop star and film star played the leading man in the film in my head, where I was leading lady, writer, director. While I spent time alone, in my head I was never alone, because in your imagination, you don’t have to be shy, you can sing in front of a crowd, argue with anybody, be the most popular person in the world. While I no longer have that fantasy film playing in my mind, I usually have some guy floating around in there. And it’s always someone who doesn’t feel the same way back. I’m the Queen of Unrequited Lust, although that makes it sound more like a sex thing. I refuse to use the word Love because in my opinion if it’s unrequited, it can’t be love. So, I’m the Queen of Unrequited…well, feelings. In the rom-coms, the one who is madly in love with another always ends up with them, because, in a miraculous turn of events, their fancypiece ends up feeling the same.

I’m not stupid enough to think that just because I wake up with Bruno proposing in my head that I’m gonna end up walking down the aisle anytime soon with the guy who popped into my head simultaneously (I’m not, honest guv). But for once it would be nice to have the mirror effect: moving in perfect synch, knowing that I’m getting back what I’m putting in.

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