Apocalypse, Now

As I type this, I’m listening to The Doors’ The End, which for the film buffs among you will know was used during the opening sequence of Francis Ford Coppola’s 1979 film, Apocalypse, Now.  Based on Joseph Conrad’s book, The Heart of Darkness, about European imperialism, Apocalypse, Now is set during the Vietnam War and is about America’s imperialism.  It also features a crazy army guy who thinks he’s a tribal chief.

Today I’ve had my own kind of apocalypse.  I had a conversation with somebody I should have had years ago, which I believe will finally allow me to move on.  I’m feeling a little numb, a little shell-shocked, but apart from that, I’m feeling positive.  The tears have fallen today, both pre- and post-apocalypse, and I’m expecting my make-up could be ruined yet again before the clock strikes midnight.  But the fog is lifting from my mind, and I can finally see the future rather than the past.

Anyway, I’ve switched off The Doors…I’m not really in the mood for Jim Morrison to start ranting about what he’d like to do to his family.  Instead, I’m now listening to Kristina Train’s Dream of Me, a song about how the life you want to lead will one day become the life you are leading.  The next song of hers to play after the ad break will be I Wanna Live in LA.  For me, the two songs are one and the same.

So I’ll finish this relatively short blog, and focus on what’s important.  The personal statement that will hopefully get me to LA next year.

Post-apocalypse, I only have one thing to say.  To quote Vinnie Jones in the film Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, it’s been emotional.

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